It has been said that the word fear, is merely an anachronism for False Evidence Appearing Real.
There is another old expression… Something about “…having a tiger by the tail.”
Tigers are, by nature, predators. Meat eaters. Hunters. Their reactions are fairly predictable. If you COULD be stealthy enough to catch a full grown Bengal tiger by the tail, you would likely get a rude awakening! Most likely the tiger would leap to it’s feet and kill you. Or at least maul you. Tigers are predictable like that…
Fear is also perdictable. For most of us it has the same effect. It can paralyze, cause unwanted and unreasoned reactions, panic attacks, loss of appetite or too much appetite. On a deeper level it can cause stress that has a very adverse effect on the body. Those are all fairly predictable effects.
But where a tiger will ensure a predictably short but messy death, fear is, in many ways, a worse death. It can leave you a shell of yourself, metaphorically a zombie of ‘the walking dead.’ Shuffling along in your little rut, too filled with apathy and self loathing to even raiseyour ahead and see the possibilities around us. (we are actually AFRAID of the possibilities!)
So, WHAT do you do when the “dream-killer thoughts” come your way and tell you that you CAN NOT DO IT?
Well to conquer fear, you have to first embrace it! (unlike the tiger who definitely is not a big fan of hugs) And when I say embrace it, I mean you have to accept that; yes you are afraid, but you are going to proceed anyway. No matter what happens. If it makes you pee yourself, or throw up… C’est la vie, Mon Ami!
You have to get a little philosophical about it. For instance, accept the fact that it is going to be painful, and get on with doing whatever you are afraid of!
OK, so the tiger looks like he is going to pounce on you and kill you! SO WHAT! LET IT! because if you keep running from the tiger he will run us down and eat us anyway! So let’s get our primitive bow, arrows, and spear and hunt the tiger instead! Sure he may get us, but if we try to run, he most certainly will!
The whole above scenario is a good representation of fear, and what it does to us. We can run from whatever we are afraid of, but it will get us anyway.
Better to go down fighting. At least we have a chance. Running gives us no chance at all!
Read this if you are worried about Trump’s Lies…
No matter how much you do or sacrifice for a narcissist, it’s never enough.
How do you determine if your partner is a narcissist? Has it become severe or malignant?
There are answers to these questions.
The American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic & Statistical Manual (DSM) describes Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) thus:
“A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:”
1.has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
2.is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
3.believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
4.requires excessive admiration
5.has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations.
6.is inter-personally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends.
7.lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
8.is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes. ~ DSM-5
I hope your partner does not meet any of the above criteria, but if they do rest assured you are not alone.
My personal Experience
From my personal experience of living with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder I would have to add:
Donna Anderson of lovefraud.com Has an EXCELLENT article I suggest you read offering 10 reasons why you might be targeted by a Narcissist. She uses the term Sociopath, and definitions of the word vary. I include her list because I have experienced ALL these symptoms from the various Narcissists I have known in my 59 years.
“If a narcissist has targeted you, it’s because you have something that he or she wants. Often it’s money, but not always. Here are 10 more things that the sociopath may want:
If a sociopath shows interest in you, it’s because they see you as useful in some way. When you are no longer useful, you will be dumped.“ Donna Anderson – LoveFraud.com
Should you have the misfortune to be targeted by someone with narcissistic personality disorder, or NPD, borderline personality disorder, or other sociopathic tendencies, they may have you feeling trapped. And in a very real sense, you are! Because as long as you have something the narcissist wants, it is very unlikely that they will let you go.
Probably the hands-down most effective method of dealing with a narcissist is the Grayrock Technique. Skylar at 180rule.com describes it thus:
“When dealing with malignant narcissists, psychopaths, sociopaths, borderlines, drama queens, stalkers and other emotional vampires, it’s commonly advised that no response is the best response to unwanted attention. This is often true and No Contact (the avoidance of all communication) should be used whenever possible.”
The basic idea is to become as uninteresting as possible. Like a gray rock in a gravel driveway paved with gray rock. Maintain a demeanor as bland and uninteresting as possible, and don’t let the narcissist provoke you into anger. If you can, break off all contact with them, although this is not always possible because of children, work etc..
Many if not all narcissists thrive on drama and confrontation. If you know someone who is constantly getting into verbal and/or physical altercations, there’s a chance they could have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, or some other form of sociopathy.
Ordinary to Malignant
What do I know about narcissistic personality disorder? Well, I have done a ton of research on the subject, but addition I lived 10 years with a beautiful woman I will always love, but who gradually developed NPD until we could no longer live together.
Without going into a lot of personal details, when I met her, she was a vivacious, personable extrovert who was always the life of the party and the center of attention. She was brash, and confident, at least on the outside.
The old saying about ‘opposites attract’ was certainly true in our case.
Nine days after I met her, her Baby Brother died. And over the next 10 years was followed by Mother, Father, 2 Uncles and several friends one after the other. But the hardest blow was when her only child was in a horrific DUI accident. Of the three girls in the car, one was killed, one had minor injuries, and her Daughter lost a leg from above the knee.
There was more, but you get the idea. I have not seen anything to confirm it in my research, but there may be certain stressors that can turn ordinary narcissism into malignant narcism. This is just my opinion, but from all I can tell that is what happened.
Let me re-emphasize, you cannot fix someone with NPD or any other Sociopathic Personality Disorder. Specifically with NPD the sufferer has a very fragile self-image and ego, and cannot admit to being wrong.
If your partner will not agree to see a therapist or go to a behavioral health clinic for evaluation, you can either stay in the relationship and suffer, or find a way to move on.
If your partner does go to a mental health facility, or therapist, remember narcissists are masters at presenting a ‘normal’ front, and their problem may not be properly diagnosed. Your primary care provider, family doctor, or local health clinic is not usually equipped to diagnose the problem.
“There’s no such thing as an unimportant day.”
“…your days are your life in miniature. as you live your hours, so you create your years. As you live your days, so you craft your life. What you do today is actually creating your future. The words you speak, the thoughts you think, the food you eat and the actions you take are defining your destiny, shaping who you are becoming and what your life will stand for. Small choices lead to giant consequences over time. There’s no such thing as an unimportant day.”
Thank You, RS
The more I ponder these words, the more truth, and wisdom I find. This is not a new concept to me, rather one I have known intellectually for many years.
I know a lot of things like that.
But that’s not really worth much, is it? When you know something in your head, but it doesn’t reach to your heart; (i.e.) you can’t apply it to your life, you don’t really know it do you?
So here in the gray of a new dawn, winter’s chill in the air, I realize that this is a new day, after all, and one I need to use to its full advantage…
Have all American Presidents Been Narcissistic?
It’s all you hear about these days in the ‘news’. “Donald Trump is a Narcissistic Sociopath!” “Unfit for Public Office!”
Seriously? Do they really think we are that stupid?
Of course, behind the push to discredit Trump, (who likely is an NPD) is nothing more than a bunch of disgruntled socialists who think victory is worth any cost, and will never admit defeat. How do you get any more Narcissistic than that? Sociopaths calling Trump a Sociopath…
But don’t take MY word for it. PressTV ran an excellent article back in September of this year. In the article they make it clear that ‘Two infamous narcissists ran for president in 2016’ not just Trump.
Anyone not blinded by party affiliation or rhetoric would have to admit this was true.
I tend to think they probably are, but I will admit it’s debatable. What’s harder to deny is the evidence from reputable studies, such as the one performed by a team of psychologists and published online by the journal Psychological Science.
“Recent research and theorizing suggest that narcissism may predict both positive and negative leadership behaviors. We tested this hypothesis with data on the 42 U.S. presidents up to and including George W. Bush, using (a) expert-derived narcissism estimates, (b) independent historical surveys of presidential performance, and (c) largely or entirely objective indicators of presidential performance. Grandiose, but not vulnerable, narcissism was associated with superior overall greatness in an aggregate poll; it was also positively associated with public persuasiveness, crisis management, agenda setting, and allied behaviors, and with several objective indicators of performance, such as winning the popular vote and initiating legislation. Nevertheless, grandiose narcissism was also associated with several negative outcomes, including congressional impeachment resolutions and unethical behaviors. We found that presidents exhibit elevated levels of grandiose narcissism compared with the general population, and that presidents’ grandiose narcissism has been rising over time. Our findings suggest that grandiose narcissism may be a double-edged sword in the leadership domain.”
Simple logic would suggest that the kind of leadership skills that would propel someone to the top of the very large pile that is American politics, could only be had by the most Narcissistic of individuals. Ones who never spend any time wondering if they are right or wrong. As a matter of fact, the study rated 42 US Presidents, 15 of whom had Grandiose Narcissism scores higher than the overall average.
They come from both parties. Two authors of the study, New York Times titled “The Narcissist in Chief.”went on to collaborate on an op-ed article for the
“We found that narcissism, specifically “grandiose narcissism” — an amalgam of flamboyance, immodesty and dominance — was associated with greater overall presidential success.”
In an article for The National Review, January 13, 2017 , Mona Charen points out that Barack Obama was a Narcissistic Personality Disorder of the highest caliber.
“President Obama had been criticized (even by the New York Times) for enjoying himself on the golf course after ISIS beheaded American James Foley in 2014 (he was photographed with that broad grin). And yet, his coldness persisted.”
When Kayla Mueller a volunteer for Doctors Without Borders was kidnapped by ISIS outside a hospital:
“What followed was the worst nightmare imaginable. For 18 months, she was held in confinement, often solitary. We’ve learned, from the accounts of other hostages who were subsequently released, that she was incredibly brave. When one of her captors told others that she had converted to Islam, she contradicted him. ISIS terrorists denied her sleep and medical care. They shaved her head, repeatedly raped her, and pulled out her fingernails.”
“Her frantic parents attempted everything they could to secure her release, only to be threatened by the Obama administration with criminal liability for aiding terrorists if they paid ransom.”
America had two choices last election cycle. Donald Trump, or Hillary Clinton. And as Tammy Bruce so clearly states it in her Washington Times op-ed,
“Hillary’s performance is a case-study in malignant narcissism with all the attendant paranoia and disturbing inability to consider other (now dead) human beings at the center of the inquiry.”
“Hillary’s horrid nature was made clear as she paid never a thought to the families of the fallen who watched her repulsive display during and after the hearing, as she waxed sentimentally about her own survival.”
When you learn how to recognize Narcissistic Personality Disorder, It becomes clear thatpretty much ALL politicians on the national level have it to some degree.
I voted for Trump. But not because he is a great guy. My vote was against the candidate who has a string of mysterious deaths following her and her husband around since the 70’s. Against the candidate who celebrated surviving her hearing about Benghazi where American citizens died because of her. Against the candidate whose modus operandi comes straight out of ‘Rules for Radicals’.
Since we have what is basically a 2-party system, that meant I had to vote for Trump. They are both Narcissists, but Trump had a better record.
Online consumers are increasing rapidly. Which means increasing numbers of those surfing the web are increasingly savvy! Marketers who do not learn to build trust in themselves and their brand are going to become extinct.
The Hook said; “I will pay you $500 to watch this video!”
So I watched the video even though I didn’t believe the five hundred dollars part, mainly because I was curious I guess.
At the end of the video was a ‘continue’ button which I pressed.
The next page said;
“Watch the second video to get your $500!”
The second video didn’t play, but at the bottom of the page was another continue button, so I pressed it…
Page 3 was a subscription page, where “…for a lifetime subscription fee of “only” $47.00 I could continue on to get my $500…”
Seriously? Why do people do marketing like this? And then they think a 2.5 – 3% click-through rate (CTR) is a big deal! That’s around 3 people in a hundred will actually click on a link offering such a bogus promise, and I venture to say that probably 90% of those who do click are like me; just wanting to see what the catch is. Because we KNOW there is one!
Online consumers are increasing rapidly. Which means increasing numbers of those surfing the web are increasingly savvy! Marketers who do not learn to build trust in themselves and their brand are going to become extinct. Oh sure PT Barnum, it’s true that there is a ‘…sucker born every minute’, but on today’s internet, reputation is becoming more and more relevant.
So to do the math, if, as in the above case, your headline is unbelievable, and you then only get your offer page in front of 3 people out of 100 who see it, how many people does that headline have to pass in front of before 1 person actually buys your product?
I’m no expert, but from what I read at most of the reputable sites around the web, most marketing ventures are considered successful if they have a 3-5% CTR. Of those who do click through, you can expect 1-2% to buy your product. So let’s say you are marketing a $20 product. Every 1000 people who passed by your link would equal 20-40 dollars in your pocket. These figures will vary from site to site, but from what I have seen in the last 11 years of observation, they are fairly representative of the market as a whole.
This is why so many marketers turn to paid advertising. And why advertising has made sites like google the richest on the planet. With figures like those above, you will have to get your ‘wonderful opportunity’ in front of literally millions of people!
Yes, there is one. One that will weed out the get-rich-quick schemers, and those too lazy to be serious.
It’s called building relationships.
A Wise Man once said: “Whoever wants to be first must serve the rest of you….” That was great advice 2000 years ago, and it still is.
Chuck has been a great and supportive friend of mine online for the last 10 years. One seldom meets an individual more supportive and encouraging. Chuck is always focused on your success above his own because he knows that by so doing, his success will take care of itself.
Mark Hultgren of MKWeb
Over the years Mark has been unfailingly helpful, always more concerned with helping than worrying about his own profits. Mark delivers 100% effort, on time, every time. Mark has helped me more over the years than he would probably be willing to admit!
Another great and supportive coach and mentor is Greg Viegas.
Greg uses the ultimate in a personal touch, the one-on-one telephone call. I remember how impressed I was the first time I received an eMail from Greg. It was the most ingenious and to-the-point marketing eMail I had ever received, and I receive thousands per year! Imagine my surprise when he sent me his personal cell phone number and offered to work with me and mentor me one-on-one. I regret to say that I was unable to come through on my end, but Greg definitely did all he could!
Ed Gandia is the owner and founder of B2BLauncher.com and his approach proves his willingness to serve others first. Not only does he provide relevant and timely content free of charge to prove his seriousness, he even takes the time to answer personal eMails. Ed is another shining example of what is the rapidly emerging face of the new web, thanks to a concerted effort by Google and others to clean up the swamp of spammers and bring relevancy to the internet.
Chuck, Mark, Greg, and Ed are the real deal, representative of the emerging quality standards that are more and more critical on the internet today!
Ever feel like the so-called ‘Elites’ of this world have their hands in your wallet stealing your cash, but you don’t understand exactly how?
My first memory of the ‘Buy Gold Craze’ is from about 1998. At that time the Y2K fear had everybody in turmoil, either for or against, and all the world’s leading financial forecasters were urging people to buy gold. If you are too young to really remember the Y2K fears see here.
The theory was that having a little gold on hand was a safe move in case the financial system collapsed due to the Y2K computer bug.
Needless to say, the collapse didn’t happen.
What IS interesting is the fact that had you bought an ounce of gold in 1998 and sold it the day before Thanksgiving, Nov 22nd, 2017, you would have realized a profit of about $998US.
This is more than just a missed financial investment opportunity. FAR MORE!!!
Ever feel like the so-called ‘Elites’ of this world have their hands in your wallet stealing your cash, but you don’t understand exactly how?
It’s really pretty simple, once you understand it.
Every time a bubble/crash scenario becomes a reality, governments rush to print more paper money. Every time trillions of new dollars are printed, your net value goes down. I didn’t say net worth, I said net value! The dollar has lost 97%-98% of its value in the last 100 years. Where did it go? It did not evaporate, it was stolen right in plain sight. A few HUNDRED people own nearly all the wealth while the rest of humanity share the leftovers. Ted Dunlap, on June 27th, 2017
Let’s say that in 1998 you had $289 in your bank account. You could have taken that money and bought 1 ounce of gold. But, like me, you didn’t see the need, and instead, you kept the money and spent it on something that seemed necessary at the time. If we had bought the gold and kept it, that 1 oz. of gold today would be worth $1,288.98 as I write this. (Incidentally. if I were ‘worth my weight in gold’, I would be worth $6,315,857.63 in USD)
Furthermore, what we bought with that $289 in1998 is not only long gone, to buy the same item today costs $437! (see for yourself, you can access the calculator here)
Let’s look at it from a different angle.
Back in 1972, my Uncle built a home costing $50,000. That same year gold was at a low of $44/oz. so that home could have been built in 1972 for 1,136.36 ounces of gold. Today that same home might be built for around $295.000.00 allowing for the 490.1% cumulative rate of inflation. So today you could build the same home at today’s prices for 228.86 ounces of gold.
The same home that in 1972 was worth 1,136 ounces of gold or $50,000 US Dollars would cost $295,000 to build, but today is only worth 228.86 ounces of gold? And 1,136oz of gold is worth $51,384,000.00
The roots of this disparity lie in the actions of US President Richard Nixon, and his administration. On August 15th, 1971 Nixon and his administration severed the final link between the US Dollar and gold. Whereas the dollar had been worth 1/35th of an ounce of gold, it was now essentially based on nothing at all at worst, and debt-based value at best. Today, a dollar is issued every time someone borrows a dollar from a bank and promises to pay it back.
“Since Nixon killed the gold standard, the unemployment rate has averaged over 6% and we have suffered the three worst recessions since the end of World War II. The unemployment rate averaged 8.5% in 1975, almost 10% in 1982, and has been above 8.8% for more than two years, with little evidence of any improvement ahead.”
“At 3% growth, the U.S. economy is about $8 trillion smaller than it would have been had we continued to experience the average growth rate prior to Nixon severing the link between dollar and gold. That implies that median family income today would be about $70,000, or nearly 50% higher than it is today” Charles Kadlec, Forbes 8/5/2011
It soon becomes obvious from looking at the charts and graphs that this is not the work of happenstance or coincidence. This is an orchestrated effort to rob value from the public. We are sold the illusion that the price of oil has gone up more than 30 times, when in fact, it is the dollar whose value has fallen relative to gold, oil, and all other goods and services over the past 40 years.
Devaluating the dollar is sanctioned theft plain and simple.
The activist post contains a good article with all the relevant charts and links to prove this. I highly recommend that you follow the above link and read it, as it explains the dangers better than I can.
I don’t know about you, but I made the mistake of following in my Father, and Grandfather’s footsteps; “learn a trade and work hard.” That philosophy served them both well. My Grandfather didn’t have an extensive education, but in spite of it, he survived the Great Depression, raised a family, and retired with well over 100k. My Father only had an 8th-grade education with a GED he completed after he returned from Korea and with a lot of years of hard work accumulated a net worth of well over 100K also.
None of us understood the bigger picture. When I made my career choices in 1976, the effects of Nixon’s policy had not yet taken effect, and we still believed the promises. All of which failed to come true.
Today we are on the brink of yet another bubble crash.